* Definition from Oxford Languages: noun; the branch of mathematics that deals with complex systems whose behavior is highly sensitive to slight changes in conditions, so that small alterations can give rise to strikingly great consequences.

**Definition from Michelle: noun; the branch of animal behavior that deals with typical horses in a group during a random trail ride.

Chaos reigns.  I met some old family friends to ride. I thought it would be an easy ride because their horses were old, as were the riders, as am I, and my horse has been a good boy all summer. However, two of the horses were a handful, they were worried and hot from being in a new location. One horse, the Arab, was being ponied (led), from the gray mare.  The gray mare was a good soul, but there was a lot going on. The ride was tense, though my horse Vali was good, while the little Haflinger was busy and prancy with her rider.  We started at an uphill walk to settle the horses.  Betty (not her real name), the rider on the nice gray mare, struggled to lead the Arab gelding who was bucking and rearing and pulling. I watched as her horse reacted to the bucking and rearing horse beside her, as her saddle started to slide sideways. Chaos continued as the Arab acted up; I saw Betty let go of the lead rope, as she slowly fell sideways, slipping down with the saddle landing between two horses. I started to dismount to help and catch the loose horse just as Vali jumped, spooked, reacting to all the chaos and the loose running horse. I was off, hitting the ground hard.  Betty was off. The third rider was still mounted on her tense prancing horse.

Now there were two loose horses as I sat on the ground trying to catch my breath; the wind was knocked out of me. Finally, once I could breathe, I assessed my body. My right hand hurt. But I could stand, and went over to try to catch my loose horse so I could help. The remaining rider dismounted. Three riders on the ground. Two loose horses. Chaos decreased once I caught my horse. I held my horse, reins around my elbow, and held the gray mare with my left hand, while she was re-saddled.  Then the two hot horses, the Arab and the Haflinger were led back to their paddocks a short distance away. Betty on the gray horse and I planned to continue our ride. Because that’s what I do, follow through on my commitments, even when it hurts.  Oddly, as we started out, I felt my glove on my right hand getting tighter. I pulled it off with my teeth. Betty saw the two lumps swelling either side of my wrist and insisted we stop riding. We led our horses the short distance back to the horse trailer. As the ladies apologized, I loaded my horse, fully saddled, since I was sure I couldn’t lift the saddle off one-handed. I drove the short distance home with one hand.

At home my mother helped me unload and untack while my husband called to find an urgent care clinic. A small bone in my hand was broken. I have a brace and an ace bandage wrap until I can get to the specialist. I am learning how to do things left-handed.

I am calling this my season-ending event. A few weeks of healing will interfere with the best riding weather of the year. I am confident my horse did nothing bad, he just spooked when I was unbalanced– normal horse behavior. He’s still a good boy, and gets an early winter break this fall.  My friends were so worried and apologetic that their horses were buttheads and hurt my hand. It comes with the territory: chaos, reins, and horses.

2. Call Me Lefty

I figure doing things left-handed is good for my brain– establishing new synapses. I figure it is good for my coordination– learning to pour coffee left-handed without spilling. I figure it is good for my patience– learning to do things slowly, step by step.  I can drink coffee or manipulate the computer mouse, but not both concurrently.  I need to accept slowing down, doing one thing at a time, breathing, and finding my Zen.

Meanwhile, I am learning to use dictation In Word.  I didn’t know that capability existed. Thanks to my techy kids for pointing that out.  I did learn that Word dictation would not allow me to use the word “butthead”.  It typed out as ****head. What the!!!!  If they are bleeping that mild word from my vocabulary, we are not going to get along at all.  Turned out there was a setting for allowing or not allowing sensitive phrases.  Thanks again, techy kid.  Good thing we figured that out, since I tend very to be specific and technical in my speech.  Goldarned butthead software. Don’t censor me!

I am also learning to use the mouse with my left hand, because dictation only gets me so far.  I wonder how many words per minute I will be able to type with one good hand and limited motion in a couple fingers on the other.  I’m sure I’ll figure it out, and it will be good for my brain.  More new synapses.  I will let pain be my guide.  If my hand hurts, I won’t do that move again.   If my back hurts after shoveling manure one-handed, that chore will have to wait.  That is all I have, until I get into the specialist.  Nothing happens fast when dealing with the medical world. Healing is slow.  Appointments are slow. Typing is slow.

3. Don’t Act Like a Horse

I was telling my horseshoer about my unplanned dismount, and that my horse was just acting like a horse and wasn’t really at fault.  I was off balance.  He laughed and explained that his apprentice has been using that phrase for human behaviors lately.   For any unthinking emotional response, he says, “Stop acting like a horse!” I’m totally stealing that.  If I’m at a gathering and my friend leaves me with a bunch of strangers, and my inner introvert gets nervous about doing small talk, snap out of it.  Don’t act like a horse!  If several friends are going to a concert, and I don’t want to go with the herd, but feel like I should anyway, stay home.  Don’t act like a horse!  If everyone is driving too fast on the highway, and I get anxious and feel like I should do the same…Don’t!  Stop acting like a horse! This will be my new phrase to live by in anxious, unusual, or reactive situations.  Don’t act like a horse.  Don’t react emotionally.  Breathe.  Find your Zen and walk your own path.  Now, if only I can get my horse to “stop acting like a horse”. 

 [Photo Credit Sherry Lund- on a good day, not a chaos theory day…]